Article by Wendy McCance
For years I have dreaded my kids hitting their teens. I had heard so many horror stories of once close families fighting like cats and dogs. Disobeying rules, talking back and getting involved in some bad situations based on some horrible judgement on the teens part.
Thankfully none of my fears came to fruition. I really believe that I had a much harder time when the kids were tiny. The experience was still fairly new and I was still getting used to my title as mom.
The worries were much more different and in many ways more intense. I would worry about safety, if my kids were excelling in school, did they have enough friends and were there friends good kids to hang around with? Did my kids remember their manners? Were they mature enough to handle a new milestone? There were so many new situations and so much growing that life when the kids were little was much more challenging.
These days the kids have fallen into routines. They have good groups of friends and they are polite and well-mannered. The milestones are fewer and further between and I know the kids know how to stay safe.
I have a more mature relationship with the kids now. Instead of barking orders and reminding them of how we run our home, we can hang out and talk on a more even playing field. The major obstacles have been lifted. These days it’s all about tweaking this or that to fine-tune their place in life.
New worries have surfaced that I didn’t see coming though. Now it’s all about how serious they take their future. Are they preparing well? Do they study hard enough and do they have some solid goals for their future? Will they be successful individuals once they are out of the house and off on their own?
Having teens hasn’t been that up and down rollercoaster of emotions, rules and learning experiences. The challenge of having teens has been to make sure every last minute counts and that they have absorbed all the good advice needed to navigate a future successfully as adults.
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Wendy McCance
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Hi Wendy - I can certainly understand your concerns for your teens and the peer pressure they face today. Kudos to you and your family (they say it takes a tribe to raise a child) on what sounds like respectful and responsible young adults your children are becoming.
Our daughters are grown and now have families of their own and my heart goes out to them with the challenges they juggle daily.
I hadn’t even thought about what it would be like when my kids have kids of their own. The worrying really doesn’t end. Thank goodness the joy doesn’t end either.
You’re right about the joy not ending. There’s nothing like being a grandparent. I loved being a Mom but just keeps getting better as a Grandmom.
The concern doesn’t end with grandchildren but I can see maybe we did something right in raising our daughters with the mothers and strong women they have become. I pray the same for you and your children.
Thanks so much.
Wonderful story! Your children are lucky to have a loving parent such as yourself.
That’s so sweet. Thanks so much.
It’s a toss up… or was for me. I think my teens were easier (except for the fact that girls are financially more expensive) than when they were younger…. that is when I was laying the ground work for their character for when they turned into teens… if that makes sense.
I have three daughters and only one of them never gave me a problem, which was more challenging the kid years or the teen years well with daughter #1 it was the kid years and with daughter #2 it was the teen years so I think it depends on the child more then anything else……….
You are probably right. I think I’m trying to stay optimistic that the teen years will stay fairly easy.
Teens most definitely! I had both extremes in my children. My oldest gave me more headaches than I would ever wish on an enemy (as they say), but finally grew up, and today we have a very close and special relationship. My youngest, well he was easy going all along. He chose good friends and when he began dating (he later told me) he would base his decision on whether to date someone on whether or not he would be comfortable bringing the girl home to meet me.
For me the hard part was trusting that they would be safe when out of my sight, both when little and as teens.
I believe that no matter how hard a child/teen is to raise, if you raise them with love behind all your actions for their best interest they will eventually work through the issues and find their way back.
Love your comment. What your son did about his dating decisions was so sweet.
It really was. He had met a girl that he went to a movie with. When I asked why he didn’t go out with her again he informed me that he didn’t feel she was someone he could bring home to me so he didn’t ask her out again. The woman he married he met a couple weeks after the movie date, they were both 16 and have been together ever since and I adore her.
That is the greatest story. Thanks so much for sharing it. It’s wonderful that he found someone you think is incredible too.