Would You Erase Your Memory If You Could?

Who Knows What Tomorrow Brings?

Article by Wendy McCance

I was in the car this morning on my way to an appointment, listening to the radio. Flipping channels and not finding any songs I wanted to listen to, I landed on a talk show channel.  The topic was erasing your memory.  If you were given an opportunity to erase the bad memories, but the good memories would be lost too, would you do it?

My instant response to the question being posed was a big NO.  My reason had nothing to do with losing any good memories either.  The reason I would never want to have my memories erased is because I wanted to remember the bad times.

I literally went through years of  horrible experiences that back in the day I would have given anything to erase.   The pain, fear and desperation I felt was just too much.  I was drowning in these feelings and felt a sense of hopelessness.  I understood at the time that what I was going through would make me stronger and more resilient over time.   At the time I was experiencing these issues, I didn’t care.  I just wanted to run away from all that was bad.

Having lived through those rough times and having sat on the other side for several years now, I have a new perspective about what I faced.  I can trace each bad moment to a better decision.  I can see the trail of desperation straighten out and turn into a trail of hope and optimism.  I am now living with a sense of success I could have never imagined I would feel back in those times of sorrow.

The most important aspect I keep coming back to as to why I would never want my memory erased is appreciation.  Because of a horrible marriage, I have a much deeper appreciation for what a good marriage is.  Because I only saw my children half of each week because of a joint custody arrangement, I appreciated every moment I had with my kids like it is was my last moment with them.

I have an ability to feel great amounts of happiness in the very smallest of moments.  My happiness is almost child-like because it fills me up with so much joy.  I can sit on my front porch, listen to the birds, breathe in the smells of summer and feel completely content.  It takes so very little for me to appreciate all that surrounds me.  I can feel magical amounts of happiness that can make my heart soar with gratitude.

So, even if the only memories that would be erased were the bad ones, I just wouldn’t do it.  I worked hard to get where I am at.  It took countless tears, finding a way to fight past the fear and some fierce determination to turn around situations that I felt would never get better.  It took finding my soul and listening to my heart to get me pointed in a direction where I could be open to love again.

I am so fotunate to have found my way.  I have an incredible husband who I never take for granted and who takes care of me in the most loving way I never thought possible.  I have found my way and landed in a career I had only dreamed about as a child.  I had given up that dream years ago feeling it was just not a possibility for me to pursue.

I know know that anything is possible, happiness can be had by anyone.  It’s really not a wish people carry around, but a reality that can be had.  I do think that the happiest people are the ones that struggled the hardest and found their way to the other side. They are the people who can appreciate the good that has found its way into their life the best.

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Wendy McCance

Wendy McCance is a Michigan based freelance writer and social media consultant. Wendy has gained attention as the founder of the popular blog Searching for the Happiness which can be viewed in 6 local papers online, including the Oakland Press.The combination of writing skills and social media knowledge is what makes Wendy such a powerhouse to work with. Stay tuned for opportunities to advertise, guest post and as always, have your questions answered.

To contact Wendy McCance about a writing assignment, interview or speaking engagement, please email her at: [email protected]

13 thoughts on “Would You Erase Your Memory If You Could?

  1. Wow, Wendy..thanks for sharing something so personal. This sounds like these struggles may have been the motivating factor that drove you to finally create Searchingforthehappiness, which is now something GREAT, that as you mentioned you never thought you’d be able to do! =) The winners who ALWAYS win, aren’t necessarily the best examples in life, it’s almost like they don’t learn to appreciate. But the winners who have experienced failure, can tell you a whole lot more about winning! :)

    Keep up the good work!

    • Thanks so much for the wonderful words. What you read was the very tip of the iceberg. I lost a job I had for 7 years. I drained my savings trying to save my house. I had to claim bankruptcy when I had no outstanding bills but was underwater on my mortgage. I lost my home with 3 kids in tow. I reached a point of desperation when I found out I had fibromyalgia. I began my blog because I felt hopeless about what was happening around me. I couldn’t see the light so I poured my heart out on this blog (the early posts are really raw). Hence, the name Searching for the Happiness was what I was doing when I began the blog.

      I wish I had known back then that everything would be alright. My past is something I know longer recognize. I have conquered those bad times and come through the other side happy, strong and incredibly focused. :)

  2. Great article, Wendy!

    Happiness is only one aspect of the human experience. To believe we’re supposed to be happy 24/7 is childish. It’s the tough times that reveal who we are and develop character.

    Sure, babies are happy… but, man, do their stories suck! :)

  3. Wendy,
    What a great post. I completely agree, I would not erase a single memory - your post shows just how evolved you are and I am sure will offer hope to others who may be in the thick of difficulty to come to know ” this too shall pass” and eventually they too will be able to look back at the difficulties with love and appreciation. Another wonderful post, thank you.
    Love & Light,
    Kym Kennedy
    Intuitive Coach

    • Thanks Kym, I really appreciate your comment. It’s so hard when you are in the middle of something really bad to see any light. I hope anyone going through a bad situation is able to get some glimmer of hope from this post.

  4. Dear Wendy McCance. I sympathise with you for all that you had to go through to have such bad memories of those events. I congratulate you for not having forgotten them but also for not letting them intrude in your present state of mind.
    It is not possible to have only good memories. Life, as they say, is not a bed of roses. Even if it were, roses have thorns. The ting to do is, as you obviously have learnt, to lock the bad memories in a trunk, store the trunk in your attic and throw the key away. True, that these memories will waft out of some small opening in the trunk and you will whiff them. But one thing you will not do is to let them hurt you as much as they did when they were being formed.
    I wish you a future free of forgettable fortune.

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