Article by Wendy McCance
I was talking with a friend quite a long time ago about their divorce. They were completely broken-hearted over the end of a relationship that had gone on since high school. Their marriage had produced a few kids that were now grown and on their own. My friend still pines for their partner and says that they were and still are the love of their life.
My friend began to talk about what led to the divorce. This friend is incredibly successful and has more money than they know what to do with. Basically they could retire at an early age and live very well. My friend was a workaholic.
They became so focused on providing for the family and not letting a deal slip by that the family became second to the job. Years of neglect caused a tear in the family unit that just couldn’t be sewn back together.
These days my friend and their ex are still the best of friends. They share everything with each other. I wish they were able to work everything out and get back together. Unfortunately, I think too much time has past and they have grown too far apart over the years.
I know I’ve mentioned this subject before, but I still wonder how you can have it all? How do you juggle all that is important to you without letting something slip through the cracks and become unrepairable?
I feel the tug-of-war on a daily basis. I want to really put the effort into my job and gain all the success I dream of. I want to have a tight-knit family that is truly there for each other and is comforted by knowing that I will always be there for them. I want to continue to have the incredible intimacy with my husband that makes me feel that he is my best friend and confidant. There is so much more though. I want to pursue a writing career. I want to be a published author and become well-known for my writing. I want close ties with friends and I want to feel like life’s an adventure where I am creating new interests and pursuing hobbies not yet known to me yet.
I have had to make choices. Every choice affects every other choice in my life. My family comes first. The kids are growing and need their mom. They are my number one priority. My husband falls in the second spot only because he is a grown up and can take care of himself. My job comes third which explains why I am not the most successful person at the office and why we don’t have an overabundance of free-flowing cash. Writing follows my job only because the money is more important than what can only currently be called my hobby. Friends fall below all of the above. I tend to seek out friendships where there are like-minded people who aren’t offended by being so far down the list. I am in the same spot on their list and we exist as friends in a peaceful harmony because we have the same way of looking at what is most important to us.
I often wonder what my life would look like if I were to juggle the priorities around a bit. I feel sometimes that I have missed some gigantic opportunities for a myriad of success because of my choices.
Ultimately, when I ponder the way I have chosen to live my life, I do feel a quiet satisfaction for choosing in the order that I have. For me , personally, my husband and children are my life. They are what makes me want to wake up each day and really live my life. They are everything to me and my choices feel good and right.
I hope that my friend is able to find a good combination in life so that they don’t feel any more pain for what could have been if they had only chosen differently. My friend has taken time off from work to reflect. The once workaholic has slowed down and is really taking the time to examine the life they have in front of them. They are questioning all the decisions they thought were right for so many years. Who can blame someone for putting their heart and soul into work with the feeling that they are doing it because they love their family and want them to feel taken care of, comforted and in a position where they don’t have to want for anything other than the emotional bond from their partner?
What do you think? Are you happy with the order in which things take priority? Is this article eye-opening and something you hadn’t thought of? Do you wish to make changes, or are you content with where you are?
To contact Wendy McCance about a writing assignment, interview or speaking engagement, please email her at: [email protected]
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