Article by Wendy McCance
I bought a lottery ticket a few days back, just a scratch off for the hell of it. A few times a year, I will get the urge to buy a ticket and each time, I just go ahead and get it. The game I play in my head is that if the urge is there, maybe there is a reason to grab one. I don’t want to wonder what if, so I go ahead and let my urge for a ticket take over.
The ticket is currently sitting in the bottom of my purse. I haven’t even touched the ticket since I bought it. I don’t even know what type of scratch off ticket it is because I had the cashier pick one out for me.
Every now and then, I remember it is still in my purse ready to play. I don’t do anything about it though.
I love to dream about hitting it big. What I would say to my family and what I would do with the money circles around in my head.
I haven’t wanted to find out if I won yet. I am having too much fun envisioning that the ticket that is sitting in my purse will change my life. I feel like I should hold out for that rainy day when my spirits are down and I need a jolt of happy possibilities.
This has gone on for enough days now that I am actually not sure if I want to ever find out. What if I don’t win? What if I feel disappointed because I only won a few dollars? What if I really do hit it big, am I ready for a windfall? Will winning a ton of money change my attitude about the way I work at my business? Will I lose my determination and become a slacker because I don’t need to worry about money?
Why do we play games with ourselves? Why must I continue to ask myself endless questions? I feel as though there is a toddler pulling at my pant leg with endless curiosity of what if and why. The fun is beginning to wear off as my mind spins out of control.
Will I finally give in and just scratch off the damn ticket? I’m not sure. I don’t think I am ready yet to stop the game I have created.
One thing is for sure though, if I do hit it big, you will know. I won’t be able to hold in the news. I will probably have trumpets blaring and canned applause playing as you read the news of my winnings. Then again, that seems like a lot of work and a bit much. Maybe I will just let that ticket roll around in the bottom of my purse for a while longer.
Wendy McCance
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You’re not alone, Wendy. I buy lottery tickets whenever I have a dollar to spare. I often wait to check the numbers. In the meantime, I go fantasy house hunting or make lists of charities I’d give to, etc. It’s fun and ALWAYS better than the reality. Do you. Be you. Do be do be do!
I do the “fantasy house hunting” all the time. Hadn’t occurred to me that other people did that too.
OK Wendy,
We have known each other long enough to I’m a recovering addicted gambler, Jan 29th 2014 will be 7 years. AND, you know all about me, so I won’t “School” you about gambling. But, Once upon a time, I sat in a Gamblers Anonymous meeting early on in my recovery, and listened to a woman share her story about, of all things, addiction to scratch off tickets! WOW! She lost her house, her car, her savings, all because of getting addicted to scratch off tickets. SO, for some of us, we just can’t. Of course, I have no ill feelings for those who enjoy gambling as Fun. I say, “Everyone is entitled to a DREAM of hitting it Big”…….I hope you do, you are very Deserving of a windfall!…*Catherine*
Hi Catherine, sorry if I triggered any ill feelings with the post. I will play the lottery maybe 3 times in a year (if that). For me it’s just pure entertainment to let my mind wander with the “what if’s.” Take care.
Oh gosh no, no triggers…..lol…I understood the context of your post. What (IF) you won, what to do with the win fall. There is truth in the statement….”More Money more Problems”!….LOL. It interests me how others think if they did win.
I’m WAY beyond ill feelings. Hugs & Blessings, *Cat*
Oh yeah I so get this it is nice to imagine what it would be like if we won big……..
I believe we all do this. It’s fun to dream about winning the lottery. I would be like you. If I did the world would know.
I think if I really won, I would be torn. On the one hand, I would be in so much disbelief that I would be mentioning it. It would be hard not to. On the other hand, mentioning it opens you up to all sorts of crazy situations that I wouldn’t want to deal with. Figuring out how to handle the “telling” of my winnings would probably drive me crazy.