Living in Fear isn’t Living at All

Basement Series: Sadness

Article by Wendy McCance

What I know is that I won’t live in fear.  When fear runs your life, your life comes to a screeching halt.  To fight fear is to become determined to live your life to the fullest and to fulfill your dreams.

When I was in college, I wanted to move out of my parents home and start living my own life.  I was in a class with a girl who would talk about waitressing.  Apparently she made enough money to live on her own with a roommate.  I knew that this was the job for me.  I would have enough money to live on my own and my classes wouldn’t be disrupted because of the restaurants flexible schedule.  My classmate was able to secure me a job and I was on my way.

My first day of work started out where I followed another waitress and learning the ropes.  Finally, the girl I was working with pointed to a table full of customers and said it was my turn to take an order.  I was petrified.  This girl was able to go up to any table and confidently take an order while appearing laid-back and friendly as though she was speaking with an old acquaintance.

I was so scared that my head began to race.  I thought of bolting out the front door.  I was afraid that I would go up to the table of people and go blank.  What if I dropped food in someone’s lap.  I looked at the girl training me and said,”what do I say when I go up to the table?”  I’m dead serious, I could not figure out what I would say.  She looked at me, smiled, and calmly said,”you just say, Hi can I take your order?”  Well, I went up to the table scared to death, and said the exact words the girl training me had told me to say.  I’m sure I spoke very quietly and stumbled over my words, but I did it.

It didn’t take long and I was an old pro.  I was confident, polished, knowledgable and engaging.  I was even a little entertaining, putting customers at ease and getting them to smile or laugh.  I could never have predicted where a waitressing job would lead me, but eventually I started talking with a beer rep that would come in to take an order, do promotions and head up waitstaff training sessions.  Talking with the beer rep helped me secure an interview and got me a job.  I sold beer and then made the switch to another company selling wine and spirits.

My days were made up of going into establishments without knowing of a contact person.  I would get a name of the person who made decisions in regards to the alcohol they carried.  I’d set up appointments and put together a portfolio of the alcohol that would suit their establishment the best.  I also created menus, did training with the staff and threw promotional parties.

If I hadn’t gotten brave and stuck it out when I first decided to waitress, I would never have seen the success that I had.  Getting over my fear and learning how to overcome my shyness has been life changing.  I have learned that the things in life that scare you the most are generally the same things that will get you the biggest rewards if you can overcome them.

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Wendy McCance

Wendy McCance is a Michigan based freelance writer and social media consultant. Wendy has gained attention as the founder of the popular blog Searching for the Happiness which can be viewed in 6 local papers online, including the Oakland Press.The combination of writing skills and social media knowledge is what makes Wendy such a powerhouse to work with. Stay tuned for opportunities to advertise, guest post and as always, have your questions answered.

To contact Wendy McCance about a writing assignment, interview or speaking engagement, please email her at: [email protected]

12 thoughts on “Living in Fear isn’t Living at All

  1. This is the post that led me to your blog and inspired me to follow. It is one that I can relate to so very well. For most of my life, I allowed fear to hold me back from so many things. I can honestly say that I am in a much better place now and fear no longer rules me. I do think though that it is an ongoing process still for me in little ways everyday.
    A great post! Thank you for the reminder and the smile.

    • I really believe that there isn’t anything you can’t get past.  I know my example was pretty tame (being shy) but I have had some extreme tests of facing the fear.  I was with an abusive husband for 16 years.  I had 3 children, two of which were babies when I finally got the courage to leave with them.  I had restraining orders and got some scary threats of never seeing the kids again.  He also worked at the plant with me and used to stalk me at work.  I went through the worst of the ordeal for about 3 years before things calmed down slightly.  There have been many other extreme examples that I could give (unfortunately).  The point is, some things just seem so scary that you can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.  It’s always surprising how much stronger we are than we could possibly imagine.  Take care.


  2. There is a nice moral to this. No matter how you feel, you need to put yourself out to others. Most people will respond positively, and you have to forget those who do not.

  3. Fear is the reponse of your ego worrying about the judgments of others. It is thinking about the future and not having a true present. We’re all going to end up in the same place. The body is temporary, the soul is forever. Once we realize that, embrace it, we realize that nothing we imagine is truly scary.To live life fully, recieve all its blessings, and have true happiness and fulfillment, we must act in faith that God is always with us. When it’s your time, nothing will prolong your stay on earth. Embrace that so that you can embrace your opportunities without fear and live the life you were meant to enjoy.

  4. I grew up having so much fear in me because of the enveiroment in whic I grew up. It affected and deprived me of many things, as I became older I encouraged myself because fear is not of God. It steals many things including sucess out of one. As I work on it, I also encourage my children not to live in fear, but be compled to achieve greater thing. However it is natural to be afraid but one should learn how to dispel it and move ahead.

    • Thank you for your comment.  It sounds like you have found a great deal of courage and hopefully some success and peace.  Teaching your kids the lessons you have learned will do so much for them.  I’m sure they are going to be strong, accomplished individuals.


  5. This is the way of nature. You never let the fear hold you down, because the stepping stones are required to help you achieve the next level and so on. The doors open and close all through out your life. NOTHING you have done or may do is not without a link to something you will need to know in the future, even if does not seem worthwhile while you are performing the task.

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