Article by Wendy McCance
I have been doing some reflecting on where I am in life compared to where I’ve been. Am I happier now? More content with where my life is heading? Do I miss any part of my younger self?
I feel that as a woman in my mid forties, I am pretty happy with where I’ve landed. I have a really great husband, wonderful children and a nice home in an incredibly good school district. What I am really reflecting on though is how I feel personally about myself.
I am what you would call a late bloomer. My ambition and confidence has always been around here and there, peeking out on occasion and taking me in some great directions. Overall though, it wasn’t until my late 20’s before I started to kick myself in the butt and make some quality career decisions. As children entered my life and my first marriage went down the tubes, I lost a good portion of myself. I could no longer hear my own voice and my ambition and confidence were shattered,
It wasn’t until I had gone through a brutal divorce, and the end of a seven-year stint working in a factory that I began to regain my own sense of identity. During this time, I became married for a second time. I had found a man who loved me and the kids, was incredibly supportive and encouraged me to reach for the stars and grab on hard to my dreams.
I found writing which I love in an almost obsessive way. I also began a career in real estate which feels like slipping on that old pair of your favorite jeans, comfy and just right. I have finally found myself.
It’s a truly bizarre notion that I have found myself when I hadn’t realized I was lost. I had never realized that there was so much more that my life could be. I wake up each day with excitement over the things I will be working on that day. Who knew that it really was possible to have a job you could really enjoy and a hobby of writing that has become so much more.
I wonder how many people out there got it right the first time. Who are these people who graduated high school, went off to college and then started their adult life happy and content? I wonder how many people out there had to go through many learning experiences before they finally got it. Did it take as long as me? Did they know that something was missing or did they stumble upon their true self by accident? I wonder how many people haven’t gotten to the place I am at or who live their whole life never having found out who they really were or what made them tick. These are the things I have been pondering.
I relate my story to my children often in hopes that they may be spared a long drawn out amount of time until they find themselves and what makes them feel like the person they were meant to be. I know their journeys are individual and can not be changed because of some stories told by their mom. Even so, maybe my story will temper how harsh their adult life might be. Hopefully they will have the peace, comfort and happiness all parents wish for their own kids. Only time will tell.
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Wendy McCance
To contact Wendy McCance about a writing or social media assignment, interview or speaking engagement, please email her at: [email protected]
Latest posts by Wendy McCance (see all)
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I’m 40, and I’m finally starting to get on the right path for my life. It’s frustrating. I constantly fight off thoughts of what might have been, what should have been. But really, I don’t know if things really could have turned out any other way than they did. What if I got married young, for example? I’d be divorced FOR SURE, no doubt.
I thought about old friends that I missed. I looked them up on FB and realized that although I had no place in their lives anymore, they had no place in my life anymore.
I feel like the queen of all late bloomers but at least I’m growing and blooming on my terms, instead of growing based upon someone’s growth chart that isn’t right for me. I’ve learned the power of the word FOCUS. I focus on my own unique path and purpose. I’m learning to run my own race.
Hi Terr, the best part of having a blog is hearing other peoples stories. You are far from alone. What you are describing is so similar to what so many people have been expressing. It sounds like you are going in a great direction. Thanks so much for your comment. 🙂
Wendy, I have just nominated you for the Liebster Award because I enjoy reading your posts so much.
Thanks so much for thinking of me. I’m so glad you have enjoyed the blog. 🙂
I’m really not sure, but at least I’m having a good time. That counts for something, don’t you think?
Most definitely!
Hi Wendy - liked what you shared on your post and life adventures so far. It’s interesting to me how different the journeys are for everyone. For you it had to be going through one marriage and children and a second marriage to begin to discover yourself. For some it seems to take a lifetime, which is where I’m at, and the journeys are all good.
I married age 19 and with same husband after almost 46 years. My journey took me through learning about family, children and relationships. After that, more relationship stuff and plain ol’ life stuff like how to keep things going with work, home and everyday life. But I mostly was doing the normal things everybody else does fitting in — doing what others want me to do — and that has been ongoing but taking up another chunk of life.
Now in my golden years, I’m exploring and finally dawn on me what do I want to do for me. What do I enjoy and that has been more difficult to define since I’ve not considered or looked at it for over half my life. It’s kind of fun and exciting. I’m just beginning to discover myself. Now, I’m writing stories about all the little observations, changes, both present and past, and memories in my life.
Life truly is amazing and wonderful - I’m excited for you and happy for what you’re now discovering too!
Thanks so much. I am really enjoying hearing what other people have experienced. I think that this is one of the most positive parts about having a blog. Sounds like you are on an exciting adventure of your own. 🙂
I know what you mean. I love hearing other peoples’ stories too. Sounds like we’re all on the same path just arriving at different times and different ways. I am enjoying my new adventures in this juncture of my life - not quite sure where it’s headed yet but I’m enjoying the ride.
I know exactly how you feel. And how interesting is it that our blogs have the same picture on top? 🙂
Have to love it. 🙂
I had actually been contemplating writing a post about where I thought I would be at this point in my life and how different it turned out. No, I definitely didn’t see my life turning out the way it did, but I am so glad it did. I wouldn’t have been as happy any other way.
If you do write about it, let me know. I’d love to read it. It’s the different journeys people take that makes life so interesting. This seems to be a popular subject. If you write about it, I would like to share the link on my blog. 🙂
I’ll wait a bit and let you have the attention for now, but I will be happy to let you know when I do and I will share your link as well as it would be a perfect companion to read.
Sounds great. Thanks.
Nice post. I definitely had things I thought I’d be doing at 25 or 30 that never panned out - life gets in the way - then decided to try again to reach those goals once I was in my 40’s. I do wonder if some people just find their niche early on and never look back. Admire those people sometimes!!
Thanks for your comment. I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
Had a similar experience, Wendy. Bad educational experience and began to discover who I was at 34. Took me another 40 years though! I learned the everything is right. I may experience it as good or bad, but whatever happens is right. More in an extract of my book, The God I Left Behind, on my website.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
It took me 60 years to find ‘me’ and the person I want to be.
Laurie.
Thanks for your comment. I’m glad you were fortunate in finding the person you want to be.