Article by Wendy McCance
Have you ever noticed that when you don’t like something you own, you are careless with it? Take a piece of clothing for example. You don’t like the color or the way it fits or how it makes you feel when you wear it. You might toss it on the floor instead of hanging it up. It might get stuffed in a drawer without being folded. What about a car that is getting old and embarrasses you to drive. How often does it get an oil change? How easily does it seem to get dinged by grocery carts at the store or scratches on it while sitting in your driveway? What about the inside of the car? Is there trash on the floor or stains on the seats?
I was thinking about how the state of your mind affects what your personal items look like. A good example of this theory is to look inside someone’s home.
Here are three distinct examples:
1. I have been in some homes where the house seems to hum with happiness. The home is clean and straightened but not in an extreme way. There is some happy clutter. There might be kids book bags in the hall, a few toys scattered about and books or magazines in spots where it looks like someone had gotten up briefly but was in the middle of reading. There is energy in the home. Food is cooking, kids are playing, etc…
People in these homes seem to be happy and content. They know how to juggle their busy lifestyle in a way that is comfortable and has minimal stress. They aren’t procrastinators and are good at prioritizing. They know how to get things done, but also give themselves a break and make sure that they take care of themselves and enjoy some free time.
2. I have visited homes where the home feels like a museum. Everything has its place. The house is immaculate to the point where you are nervous to walk in shoes or eat anything for fear you might drop a crumb of food and it would stand out as an incredible mess. There is little life in the home. There is no way to know what the occupants hobbies are or what makes them happy. There are no books to see, no photos to look at and no projects sitting out.
These people tend to be control freaks. They are rigid and feel that everything in their life must be perfect and in its place. People with homes like this have a hard time giving themselves a break or find time to allow themselves downtime. They are usually workaholics and are very critical of others living up to their standards.
3. The last style of home that I’ve seen is the home that looked like an explosion occurred. You walk in and see piles of dirty dishes, a trail of dirty laundry running through the house and projects everywhere. The home is utter chaos and has an uneasy feel to it.
People in these homes are always busy. There are a million responsibilities, errands, favors to others etc… These are good-hearted people who put everyone ahead of themselves. They will say yes to any favor someone asks of them no matter if they have the time and energy or not. They never want to disappoint and will stretch themselves as thin as humanly possible. They tend to put their own needs last and don’t know how to enjoy their own company for any length of time.
Of course these are generalizations. There are many people who might not feel they fall under any category listed above or think that the descriptions of the type of people who live in these homes are off. When you find peace for example, it’s hard to live in a messy home, it just doesn’t feel peaceful. You will get the urge to straighten what is around you to increase that feeling of peace that you have. The point is sometimes by looking at the state of what you live in can give you direct clues as to the state of your mind.
Wendy McCance
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I’m much more comfortable in the post explosion home than the museum.
Personally, the museum kind of scares me.
Me too. You certainly never feel “at home”.
Exactly. I feel uneasy around people who try to create that level of perfection. Pretty to look at, but there’s no soul.
You got it exactly - no soul. Who’d want to live in Stepford, ugh!!!
I grew up in # 3. My parents refrigerator would be involved with growing new life on a regular basis, a regular science experiment… LOL. The rest of the house wasn’t much better. As a result, I became #2, but not the critical of others part.
Of course it’s just a generalization. No one fits perfectly in any mold (thank goodness).
After my wife was gone I decided that our apartment needed some changes. A friend of mine stages homes for sale and I asked her if she could do the same for an apartment. She came over and helped me rearrange my living room so that it is like two rooms in one. Now I have an area where I write and another where I watch TV. I try to keep it neat but not sterile. Then I moved my bedroom around also and am very happy with it. I guess kitchens and bathrooms are the hardest to keep neat because we use them so much. I am learning to take care of my apartment, do laundry, etc. My daughter helps me a lot. I like earthy tones while my wife liked a more colorful look.
That’s great that you had some people who could give you a comfortable environment.
Hi Wendy,
How true this is! My husband and I have ADHD and ADD, respectively. Our home is a #1, but sometimes it feels like we are steps away from #3. My brain can only handle 5 minute clean-ups at a time, though, so that’s how I try to keep things. Great post.
Karina
Thanks Karina. One of my children have ADHD. It’s been a struggle for her to learn how to clean a little at a time without looking at the mess as one big chore and getting overwhelmed. We would literally section off areas for her to clean. She could then just focus on her desk or a shelf in her closet, etc…It has gotten a lot easier for her as she has gotten older.
I grew up in Home # 2…LOL. Yep, I think you nailed her exactly. She is however like she is because when growing up her father was VERY controlling. All 4 kids always had to be perfect and the best at whatever they did. My house, on the other hand, isn’t a #2….LOL Good post
I’m so glad you enjoyed it.