No More Excuses!
Article by Wendy McCance
You’ll never really live your life if you are closed up!
People have walls up because they don’t want to be hurt. Some people are unable to make a decision for fear of making the wrong choice. There are people who hold in their feelings afraid of how others might react to who they really are. Some people will always follow the crowd, choose the “safe” path because the unknown is too frightening for them to attempt.
How can you live your life in any of these scenarios?
If your walls are up, you are isolating yourself.
If you don’t make a choice, you avoid having experiences.
If you don’t show people who you really are, you won’t have true friends.
If you don’t attempt the unknown path, you will lead a dull life.
If you are closed up, you aren’t living. You are missing out on real connections, deep feelings, excitement, challenges, fulfillment and ultimately meaning to your life.
When you die, how will others remember you? How would you like to be remembered? If life is a gift, and the things you can do with this gift are endless, why aren’t you excited about your present? Why aren’t you unwrapping your gift and trying it out? It will never become too worn down. It will never look old and broken unless it is neglected.
Live your life fully. There is nothing to fear unless you get to the end of your days with regret. No one should ever have to feel regret, only happiness over a life well lived. No matter what your personal obstacles are, you are still capable of creating your best life for yourself.
Starting today, celebrate life and live it!
Wendy McCance
To contact Wendy McCance about a writing or social media assignment, interview or speaking engagement, please email her at: [email protected]
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Very nicely put, Wendy. This reminds me of that saying, “Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, you only get one.” So get out there and live it! Regrets for things undone, chances not taken, words not spoken, at the end of your life would be the worst.
I agree!! Love the dress rehearsal saying, it’s so true!
Thanks for this honest post, Wendy. I read your first points and have to admit it: this is SO me. I hate making decisions because what if I do the wrong thing; I’m afraid if people knew how awful I really am… Etc. I do struggle against this and have all my life.
I think these fears are like spider webs; they start with the smallest, finest strands we hardly notice. A chance remark, a frown from someone, reading that “this is OUT now”, seeing everyone else bring a delightfully decorated dish to the potluck and you just brought baked beans from a can, plopped in a plain old whatever.
All these can add to the web until finally you find yourself all wrapped up in them and can’t move. I know I’m not unique; everybody gets a frown from someone now and then. Everybody’s not going to love everything I do. But these threads want to bind me so I do nothing for fear of a frown.
And we only kid ourselves when we say, “If others knew what I’m really like, they wouldn’t like me,” because people often see us a lot more clearly than we wish to be seen. And a lot more charitably. If I’m unhappy with myself, I tend to reflect my feelings onto others, thinking they must surely feel this way, too.
For me the challenge is to escape the polarization: if people don’t love me then they must hate me. I have a friend who has been caught in major paranoia and this is how she views life. “Everybody hates me. I can tell because they said…” Doctors never treat her properly for her ills because the govt is out to get rid of people like her, etc. Listening to her has actually helped me not to go down that road even farther than I do.
If I don’t do everything right, then I do everything wrong. I remind myself that if I make the wrong choice I’ll cope. My life won’t end. I’ll pay the bill, learn the lesson, and move on. I sometimes find myself stressing and have to remind myself of this even in the smallest things, like which flower would look best in this pot.
So I hear you! With all my little phobias, I’m thankful that I’m still functioning.
Hi Christine, I hope this helps, we have all been there in one form or another. No one is perfect and everyone has fears. The fact that you recognize things you might like to change is far more than many people. There are those that are so pained by looking inside themselves that they keep busy to avoid getting to know themself.
The way I got through some of these issues was realizing that I would rather really live my life and embrace who I am than cower in fear and doubt. Remarkably, the more true you stay to being honest to yourself and others, the more good you get out of life.