Article by Wendy McCance
I have a question I’d like to pose to you — What are you afraid of? It’s a seemingly simple question, but one I’m sure filled your head with all sorts of answers.
Everyone is familiar with the saying, You Only Get One Life. Picture yourself being able to reflect on your life when there are fewer days left before you die than what might be before you now. Picture talking with the grandkids about the life you have led. Imagine what might have been if only you had been brave enough to seek out what you dreamed of.
I remember being in my late 20′s and watching reality tv and picking up magazines about celebrities. I was always fascinated about how they lived. The beautiful homes, incredible vacations and the never-ending funds that got them anything they desired. I wished for a life like that. I remember thinking, I wish I had that, but I will never know what that feels like. Without realizing it, I had made an internal decision that I would never have great sums of money and I would never live the life I desired most to live. I remember the feeling of disappointment and helplessness I felt. This was it and I would never have more.
The interesting thing is that I was still young. I had my whole life in front of me, but I just couldn’t envision great success. I didn’t think I would ever come close to having my dream job. I didn’t see a terrific man in my future. I didn’t think I would ever live in a home I could call my dream house.
Now that I am much older, I have a completely different perspective. I think anything is possible. I have accepted that I will never truly see the whole path laid out in front of me guiding me in the direction that will fulfill my dreams. No one ever sees each step perefctly. It’s what makes the journey fun. Unknown surprises that many times are better than what you could have envisioned for yourself. What I know is that finding the guts to pursue a dream even is worth any difficult moments.
I have had more than my share of bad times. I have experienced situations that knocked me down so horribly that I am surprised I was able to get back up and move on. Those bad times were in an odd way a blessing in disguise because those situations taught me what my worst fears felt like. I never wanted to experience so much helplessness again in my life so I became determined to go after everything I cared about. I had nothing to lose because I had already touched the bottom. I was free to only look up at possibilities because nothing could get any worse.
Now that I am in my mid 40′s, I have more ambition and a stronger will to have it all. I don’t think anything is impossible, not having your dream job, or finding a true love or living in your dream home. I have been lucky enough to get all of it. Sure there have been setbacks and losses a long the way, but my future excites me. I know honestly that the fear is gone and the possibilities are endless. I am certain that someday I will sit with my grandkids and have great stories to tell. I will get to my last days alive and have a feeling of peace because I went after everything that was important to me. I know that one by one my future goals will be realized.
So the question is, what are you afraid of? Will you be able to find the strength to buck your fear and take on the world? How do you envision your future? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Wendy McCance
To contact Wendy McCance about a writing assignment, interview or speaking engagement, please email her at: [email protected]
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Hi Wendy — this is an interesting topic and one which I’ve reflected and worked on throughout many stages in my life. I think as we journey along our paths our perspectives change given the stage of life we’re in. When I was younger, I viewed and addressed the fears in my life differently than I did in middle age and now in my golden years. I don’t think you can treat them the same. Life comes at us differently and what I’ve learned is to pay attention and feel. This seems to be working for me, now.
That’s the beauty of life — it’s constantly evolving and changing giving us material of which we can write. Good topic, Wendy, and more thoughts for discussion. Hugs to you, my friend.
Hi Pat, what you mentioned is so true. When I look back, I also handled things very differently depending on where I was in life. It is amazing how we are always growing and learning. Looking back makes me appreciate even more how far I’ve come. Thanks so much for the additional insight.
I agree, Wendy, looking back helps me, too, appreciate how far I’ve come. What I did back then wouldn’t work for me today. It’s probably because I’m not the same person. I love talking with you, Wendy. You get my brain juices flowing.
Aw thanks Pat. I feel the same.
This has made me think, what am I afraid of, I don’t really know, in fact thinking back I don’t know what I have been afraid of during my life we are not counting being afraid of heights ok maybe I would have to say I am at times afraid of the unknown but I think many people are afraid of the unknown but to be honest I don’t think about the future or the unknown .
Sounds like you are a go-getter who doesn’t allow uncertainty to stand in your way. I think that’s fabulous!
This comment doesn’t speak directly to yours, but just a note about fear — It’s been my experience that when I face a fear head on, I feel terrific afterward. Public speaking, driving on a particular highway, taking a long trip by myself. I guess it gives me self-confidence. To me, if the fear is of physical danger, I listen to it. If the fear is more psychological in nature, I go after it with gusto.
I think that people who can do that are the type who end up with no regrets about the choices they make. It may not end up being the result they hoped for, but there are no regrets because they tried. That’s awesome.