Article by Wendy McCance
I was watching a show last night about how your thoughts and actions affect your ability to succeed or how they hold you back. I reflected on my own thoughts and actions. Sometimes I have this feeling that I can do anything. I am my own biggest cheerleader and I make tremendous progress with whatever my goal is at that time. Other times, I am going through some depression. I become unfair to myself. I feel that things are out of my control or I hit that dreaded roadblock where I simply can’t move like I’m stuck in cement. I literally can’t figure out how to get to the next step and panic sets in.
Over the years I’ve realized to relish the side of me that is comforting, positive and a go getter. I’ve also seen that negative me is a bully to myself and someone who I am not interested in being around. Although difficult, when negative me appears, I do all I can to shut her up and move past her, I’m better than that.
These days I feel like I am on a remarkable path. I choose to rain encouragement and love onto myself. Negativity has no place here and gets shut down fairly quickly when it appears. The lesson I am working currently is in regards to courage. I don’t know about you, but I have no problem starting a project no matter how big and seemingly out of reach always seeing some small success. What I came to realize was that when I reach the point that the future shows some bright spots and the universe starts to spin in a most positive way, I chicken out of jumping to the next step.
I don’t know if I am explaining this well enough, but I am afraid that when it looks like I could succeed I shut down. This is not because I’m afraid of success. I realized that I am afraid I won’t in the end see success. I will have disillusioned myself. I don’t know how to have real success or how that feels. I mean the success that comes from years of hard work and becomes a part of your daily life as a normal way of being. When I realized this fact, I was crushed and mad at myself all at the same time. I couldn’t believe that I had so little faith in myself.
No one knows the exact steps to success. It’s not like a recipe where if you follow each step success is certain. Just to clarify, I’m not talking about going to school, getting a great degree, finding a good solid job and working your way up the corporate ladder. For me, the success I’m speaking of is entrepreneurial success. Making your way through the unknown and creating success out of nothing more than an idea and a lot of gumption. I’m also not speaking of small success where you are squeaking by on what you have created. I am talking about big success. The type where people know of you and your income gives you an opportunity to breath easily and give freely to others.
I have decided that this one truth is the ugly reason that I haven’t gotten further with a million ideas I have attempted to prosper off of. It is time to slow down and reset my thinking and actions. Each day I must be hyper aware of negative thoughts and actions. I will show myself love and kindness and give continuous encouragement throughout the day. Most importantly, I will soak up each positive sign that pops up with the enthusiasm of someone who has won a big prize. After all, in the end it is the journey that is so exciting not just the end result.
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Wendy McCance
To contact Wendy McCance about a writing or social media assignment, interview or speaking engagement, please email her at: [email protected]
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I really understand what you are saying. In general I’m doing good in life, but I’m 100% sure that is because of fear that I have not accomplish more. I know I can do bigger things but as you said, my bad side is always holding me back.
I think it is all in your mind and it is a constant battle; you have made a lot of progress because you are fully aware of what the problem is; you will be very successful!!!
I recommend reading the following 2 books, they are short and easy to read:
- Mindset “The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck
- The Courage Quotient by Robert Biswas-Diener
Good Luck!!!
Hi, The books sound really interesting, I’ll have to check them out. I think one of the biggest obstacles in life is quieting the fear so that your accomplishments can be unlimited. Sounds like you are on the right path as well.
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Beautifully put and it is great to know there are more people mirroring my struggle and yet like you I am on the up swing of it all. I wish you great success!!! Your writing is beautiful.
Hi Myra, Thank you so much for the kind words. It makes me feel so good to know that people can relate to the posts I’m writing. I’m so happy to hear that you are pushing past your own struggles. All the best, Wendy
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For me, when those stuck-in-cement days come, though I feel as if I cannot move, if I take even one step, in whatever direction, I am at least moving forward – toward success. I may not reach it in my lifetime, but the journey brings me closer with every step I take.
That’s such a great way of putting it.
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You explained it just fine! Good work!
Thanks so much.
Thanks again. Notice this passage in your blog: “I realized that I am afraid I won’t in the end see success.”. If you read your closing words — that closing sentence above — you’ll see that you are already beginning to overcome your fear.
Life continues to evolve with each breath you take. That ‘fear of success thing’ is real — yet, since 1) life continues to go along, & 2) you now have momentum going 4 you, the chances are good that you’ll continue to ‘go with the flow as well’ vs. get stuck, surprised, stalled, or disappointed (as deeply or for as long) even if you don’t ‘see success’ where & when you expect or think you should find it.
I’ve been there too — & I know how easy it can be to assume that ‘success’ is ‘out there’ somewhere … & that we may find it, miss it, lose it or fail to find it at all — if & as as we expect.
You’re already taking steps to lead, support & positively shape your ‘ongoing’ life. You’ll ‘go on’ with what you find & with what you experience & expect. And if something undesired or unexpected should happen that impacts your momentum or knocks you off course, you really can (& likely will) continue — to immediately or ‘event’ually — take supportive steps to rebuild your momentum, get back on course, & GO even further in life.
Life (the ongoing journey) evolves …. Keep the music alive…. GO on .. Thanks again 4 your example.
http://www.resultsazwell.com
Wow, thanks for all of the support. It’s amazing the things you will say or write with the best of intentions and at the same time not notice the negative thoughts just below the surface. Having it pointed out is so great because it gives me the opportunity to reevaluate what is holding me back. Thanks again, your comment meant a lot.
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Thanks again for stepping up & stating in words what you are positively doing for yourself. Our competitive culture often leaves us inclined to notice what’s wrong, what doesn’t fit, & where & how we ‘don’t quite measure up’. Even many who are taking positive measures for themselves can be reluctant to tout their example to others — out of concern that this too can imply ‘being in appropriately self-promoting’ or ‘self-serving’ (i.e. ‘doing something wrong’). ‘Serving & helping oneself ‘ is a supportive, practical thing to do. Your mention of ‘doing this’ can serve as a positive example for others as well. Thanks again for stepping up!
Hi Jay, Thanks so much, it means a lot. I have decided that I want to live my life as openly as possible. We are all only human and life is just one big learning lesson. Admitting my shortcomings is the truth I want to live. No one is perfect. If along the way I can give comfort to someone else because they can relate and don’t feel alone, that is the greatest gift I can give.
Wendy McCance
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Yep! You got IT !
Wendy, I applaud you noticing your negative thoughts and getting clear on beliefs that are holding you back. I would also encourage you to quit telling yourself that “success comes from years of hard work.” If that’s what you believe, that’s what will be true for you. Instead set your intention to be something like “success flows to me easily and effortlessly.” You’re right that we often don’t know how to get where we want to go - so why not leave open the possibility that you will get there in a way you can’t even imagine right now, that easy and effortlessness?
Wishing you much great, huge, beautiful success beginning today!
Thanks so much. I think I don’t really believe the part of the years of hard work. I was trying to make a point on the post. It is interesting though, and I will be extra aware of not looking at success that way. I’m so glad you pointed that out!
🙂